A little perspective, part 4

After crying out to God, hearing His words to me, and then my heart-cry prayer, I was exhausted. By that time it was nearing 2 am. I stepped out of the Suburban for a breath of air before I curled up in the back to sleep, and the Lord blessed me with one of the most awe-inspiring sites available to us in Northern Oregon - a clear night's sky, filled with billions of sparkling stars, completely unhindered by any man-made lights from shining their brightest!

What a brilliant reminder that the God who breathed out the stars and set the heavens into place, was more than able to hold me together and bring me back to a restored relationship with Him!


In the morning I awoke to the sound of the rushing river, and the sun softly glowing just below the eastern ridge-line. I sat at the picnic table refreshed, and I penned these words:

"August 4, 2009

You are the lifter of my head. Your lovingkindness is better than life and I will praise You, my lips will praise You.

You are with me always. Matt. 28-20

All things work together for good to those who love You. Romans 8:28

Greater is He who is in me that he who is in the world. I John 4:4

Thank You for restoring peace to my soul!"

God has faithfully worked in me since that night, and He has made me new. I am completely changed and I live for His glory!

A little perspective, part 3

Here is an excerpt from my journal. It was written that night, on the East Fork Hood River in a little campground, in our Suburban in the presence of Almighty God. These are lyrics from several Tenth Avenue North songs.

"Please don't fight these hands that are holding you. Yeah, My hands are holding you."


"I've been holding on so tight, look at these knuckles , they've gone white
from fighting for who I want to be, I'm just trying to find security
You say let it go
You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the ones who lose control
You say you will be
Everything I need
You say if I lose my life it's then I find my soul
You say let it go."



"I'm there in your sorrow
under the weight of your shame
I'm there in your heart-ache
I'm there through the storm
My love I will keep you by My power alone"


and I finished with this prayer:


'Father, hold me until I settle down, then please speak your love and peace to me!
I love you. Please increase that love. Tear down my idols - at least expose them to me so that I might tear them down. Let there be only You!'

And He has answered!

A little perspective, part 2

It was mid-July, 2009, and Charles was again being charged with all sorts of infractions and insubordinations.

And I was mad at God.
I felt like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum, held safely in Daddy's arms, beating her fists on His chest, yelling her anger at the injustice.

This time I pursued Him in the solitude of the mountains and rivers. On August 3rd, 2009, I took a long drive, with no real destination in site, but needing to get away from the Hatchery and finally give God a chance to talk to me.

I drove up Mt. Hood, checking out the sites as I went. The view from Timberline was amazing, but unfulfilling. The view of the Mountain from Summit Meadows was breathtaking, but only briefly. Finally I quit puttering around and just asked the Lord to show me where to drive.

I followed Hwy. 35 around the Mountain and north toward the town of Hood River. Just after having crossed the East Fork of the Hood River, I came to a small, unimproved campground, Nottingham by name. I pulled in, hungry for peace for my soul, and the campground was right on the river, so I thought I might find refreshment there.

The Lord is faithful, ever faithful and I praise Him!

There were only a couple other people in the whole campground, and most of them chose the northern loop to stay in. Only one family was camped in the southern loop, and I chose a beautiful spot backed right up to the river, all blanketed in fine gray/black sand.

There were no distractions as all I had with me was a sweatshirt, the big picnic blanket that's always in the back of the Suburban, a big water bottle, my Bible and notebook, and some CD's. I sat at the picnic table, listening to the rushing water, watching the sun set behind the mountain. Then, driven into the Suburban by the mosquitoes, I put in a CD, picked up my notebook and started organizing my thoughts.

I cried out to God and He spoke to me. I heard His answers in the songs on the CD. I read His comfort to me in His Holy Word. I felt His presence as I poured out my heart to Him... and then I just listened.

A little perspective, part 1

In September 2006, Charles interviewed for a Tech 2 position, a promotion from his current level of Tech 1, on Oregon's North Central Coast with the Department of Fish and Wildlife. Cedar Creek Hatchery in Hebo became our new home in late October 2006! It was quite an adjustment to all parts of our lives, but we grew to love it there (in spite of the rain!).

We spent the next 2 years there, getting involved with a local church body, growing to love the people in the Church and the community.

In spite of almost everything else growing phenomenally well (the kids, the grass, the flowers, the garden and the mildew), our faith and personal walk with the Lord did not. And somehow we were blind to that fact.

November 2008 brought persecution and changes to our life that we never envisioned facing. Charles took a demotion and transfer to Sandy Hatchery in Sandy, OR. in order to keep his job and provide for his family.

The Lord sovereingly moved us here, of that we are sure.
And during all that turmoil and stress, we daily saw God's ever merciful hand of provision upon us! He will do whatever it takes to capture our hearts, and that took really shaking up our world.

At first it really seemed to work, getting our attention, that is. Yet, soon we were back to our nominal Christian state. We were plugged in to a Mega-Church, attending regularly, involved in groups and discussions and activities. We joined a homeschool co-op and the boys played league baseball so we were busily getting to know people in the community.

And we forsook a real relationship with the One whose blood purchased every good gift we were enjoying for a facade of morality.

And persecution came again.
Thank you, Lord, for faithfully pursuing us!