And I was mad at God.
I felt like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum, held safely in Daddy's arms, beating her fists on His chest, yelling her anger at the injustice.
This time I pursued Him in the solitude of the mountains and rivers. On August 3rd, 2009, I took a long drive, with no real destination in site, but needing to get away from the Hatchery and finally give God a chance to talk to me.
I drove up Mt. Hood, checking out the sites as I went. The view from Timberline was amazing, but unfulfilling. The view of the Mountain from Summit Meadows was breathtaking, but only briefly. Finally I quit puttering around and just asked the Lord to show me where to drive.
I followed Hwy. 35 around the Mountain and north toward the town of Hood River. Just after having crossed the East Fork of the Hood River, I came to a small, unimproved campground, Nottingham by name. I pulled in, hungry for peace for my soul, and the campground was right on the river, so I thought I might find refreshment there.
The Lord is faithful, ever faithful and I praise Him!
There were only a couple other people in the whole campground, and most of them chose the northern loop to stay in. Only one family was camped in the southern loop, and I chose a beautiful spot backed right up to the river, all blanketed in fine gray/black sand.
There were no distractions as all I had with me was a sweatshirt, the big picnic blanket that's always in the back of the Suburban, a big water bottle, my Bible and notebook, and some CD's. I sat at the picnic table, listening to the rushing water, watching the sun set behind the mountain. Then, driven into the Suburban by the mosquitoes, I put in a CD, picked up my notebook and started organizing my thoughts.
I cried out to God and He spoke to me. I heard His answers in the songs on the CD. I read His comfort to me in His Holy Word. I felt His presence as I poured out my heart to Him... and then I just listened.